This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
