So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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