Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
