should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
