I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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