there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
