i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
