Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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