The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
