You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
