thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
