He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
BRING THE BAGELS
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
