Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
