Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
