My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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