remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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