I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
