the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
