I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
