i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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