She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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