Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
