porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Im part way to drunk.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
