I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
