Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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