six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Your cock deserves a montage
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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