My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Congratulations! We have a period
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
