Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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