my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
What a dumb baby whore.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
