Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Say something about gay babies.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
