The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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