i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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