Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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