but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
