Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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