Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The feeling are messing with the penis
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
