some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
