good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
