you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
