Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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