Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
