i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
