They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
