There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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