do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
