i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
What drink are we having for lunch?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
