Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
