woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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