Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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