My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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