You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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