New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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