This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
