Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
