I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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