I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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