I accidentally had phone sex last night
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
