I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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