My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
